Money In The Bank

A couple weeks ago we decided to order some pizza for supper.  We all love pizza!  We usually order a large pizza and a mini personal pizza for Lukas.  Well this particular night I put the cash on the end table and started feeding Megan.  Lukas was all over the place playing with his cars and just having fun.  Well when the pizza came I put Megan down turned around and the money was gone.  I immediately looked at Lukas and said "Lukas where did you put the money?"  He just told me he didn't know.  I kept asking him and asking him and he kept giving me the same answer.  I went to my purse and grabbed some other money and paid for the pizza.  By this time Chris was asking him where the money was too.  We both were kind of freaking out.  We needed to let Lukas know he doesn't take things without permission (he has misplaced other things on us too).  We were both upset with Lukas by this time, so much that he started feeling icky.  All of a sudden I worried he might throw up.  I told Chris we had upset him.  We didn't realize we could upset him like that.  He laid down on the couch and I snuggled him a little.  Chris came over and gave him some hugs and kisses.  We both told Lukas it was OK.  We knew we would eventually find the money, but at this point we had went over board questioning him about the money.  After he calmed down he ate the pizza, and by the next morning we discovered he put it in his piggy bank.  He was proud that he put the money in his piggy bank too, because after all that is what we taught him...to put money in his piggy bank.
Well fast forward a couple weeks and I read this in a email from Pampers:

Why Kids Lie Children approaching 3 1/2 see people, objects, and events as all good or all bad. Good people do good things; bad people do bad things. This explains a lot about the lies kids tell now. GOOD NEWS The good news about lying-yes, you should see it this way-is that it's a sign of intellectual growth and sophistication. It also shows the way a child wishes things to be. So your preschooler isn't a liar when she denies absolutely that she put the red handprints on the wall, though she's completely covered with red paint. Her thinking goes like this: "I am a good girl. Mommy thinks that red handprints on the wall are bad. Bad people do bad things. So no, I didn't leave those bad handprints, because I'm good." The most common reason for lying is fear of punishment. STRATEGIES Parents can understand this kind of behavior as "creative coping" with a situation that the child suddenly perceives as stressful. Untruths shouldn't be supported, but it does no good to press a child to admit to a lie. Think of yourself as a teacher, not the police. Ask yourself if you're really giving your child permission to tell the truth. You don't have to like her behavior; you do want to help her correct it. Look for patterns in these untruths. They may help you discover what's really going on in your child's life. A child who lies to a wide range of people may have problems with her self-esteem; a child who lies mostly to one or two people is probably afraid of them and is trying to protect herself.

When Lukas said he didn't know where it was he was lying to protect himself, but in his way he was not lying.  He saw we weren't happy and I think he associated it with bad like the article said.  He thought I am a good boy, it's good to put money in the piggy bank, I put the money in my piggy bank, so I therefore am not naughty and didn't take the money it's in my piggy bank.  We probably should have asked him in a more non accusing way where the money was.  That would have probably gotten us farther.  Like maybe ask him "hey the money was here, where did it go?" (in a non accusing tone.)  Maybe he would have come out with it right away.
We still feel bad about getting mad at him, but once we found out where the money was it was more humorous than anything.  How can you be mad after that.  He didn't take it to be mean, he was simply just doing what we have taught him over and over.  Money goes in his piggy bank.